CULT OF JAMES

Shifters out of wack. That’s the title, and that’s what happened. Got on the bike at 4 AM, made it less than a mile, and the derailleur was fighting me the whole way. Gears slipping, chain grinding, that specific mechanical stubbornness that tells you to turn around or push through and break something. I turned around. 0.93 miles, four minutes,…

A third of a mile. Zero minutes, according to Strava — which really means “not enough time to round up.” This was probably the walk from wherever I parked the bike to the door and back, or a GPS ghost from the McDonald’s stop. The kind of activity that exists in the log because the phone was still recording. 0.35…

Ten miles on a bike. For McDonald’s breakfast. This is the most honest activity name I’ve ever logged because that is exactly what happened. The Egg McMuffin was the destination. The 10.35 miles were the cost of admission. “Eye of the Tiger” played twice — Strava doesn’t lie about that. System of a Down’s “Chop Suey!” hit mid-ride, which is…

Ten miles for a McMuffin. That was the deal. Breakfast had to be earned on a Saturday morning in July, Florida heat already building by 8 AM, and the only currency accepted was sweat. Armin van Buuren and Martin Garrix on the speakers — proper trance and EDM for a proper distance. Hi-Lo dropping bass while the miles dropped behind….

Same downtown ride, different Strava entry. GPS double-tracked again — same 6.4 miles, same 48 minutes, same Thursday evening. The only difference is 25 extra feet of elevation gain, which is Strava’s way of saying “I’m guessing.” Duplicate data aside, the ride still happened. One ride, two records, same legs doing the work. Sometimes the data is messier than the…

Downtown Pensacola on a Thursday evening. 6.4 miles in 48 minutes — a leisure pace, not going fast, just going far. This is a different kind of ride than the 4 AM loops. This one has traffic lights and people and the particular chaos of Palafox Street in July. No music logged for this one. Just the sounds of the…

Ghost again. “Dance Macabre” into “Faith” into “Witch Image” — the Prequelle album was basically my entire summer 2018 soundtrack. 4:38 AM, 2.18 miles, the shortest of these morning loops. Slightly shorter route or maybe I just turned around early. Either way, eleven minutes of pedaling in the dark with Tobias Forge singing about plagues and witchcraft. There’s something about…

Ghost again. “Dance Macabre” into “Faith” into “Witch Image” — the Prequelle album was in heavy rotation this summer and I’m not going to pretend it wasn’t perfect for 5 AM cycling. Shorter ride today, just over two miles. Eleven minutes. The route got trimmed a little, or maybe I turned around earlier. Either way, still out there before the…

Morning ride. 2.2 miles, eleven minutes. Ghost again — five tracks crammed into a short loop because when you find the right soundtrack for July in Florida, you don’t change it. Quick and done. Legs moving before the brain catches up. The kind of ride where you’re back in the driveway before the coffee gets cold. STATS 🚴 Ride —…

Saturday morning, 5:21 AM. The Camila Cabello phase. Don’t judge — or do, I don’t care. “All These Years” into “She Loves Control” into “Never Be the Same.” Pop music at dawn on a bicycle is its own kind of energy. Not complicated energy. Just the kind that gets you through 2.57 miles before the sun burns everything off. Same…